The Public Diary

I had second thoughts that if I should write another post on the similar lines of the previous one. But then, with my last blog, I have left my readers lingering with the question “What are the changes - or you can say phases - that you’ve gone through many times?” (Just as I mentioned in my last post). To begin with, I really don’t have many memories of my childhood. All I remember is that I used to play, most of the time, or all of the time for that matter. I don’t remember if I even talked much or not. I’ve always been the one listening to the stories of the others; not the one telling its stories. So I can say I used to be the silent one. Then I shifted to another school and God knows why this change occurred but it did, and it was a bad change. Only the people around me would know how they bore me. I had airs - for no solid reason; I used to think of myself very highly, carrying my ego up on my sleeve. Giving warnings like you don’t consider me your friend so I won't...

I am well aware of the fact that I’ve changed drastically around half a dozen times in my life  (in terms of behaviour) . But this time I fear getting changed. Because, this time my interests are getting a woman-like, instead of a girl-like (much to my dismay). The reason I am saying so is because: 1) I ‘sort of’ developed a hobby of cleaning all the stuff in my house. Huff! It’s so time-consuming, demanding and tiring, and most importantly never ending . My weekends are gone in wiping the mess and dirt out. And by the time (or say a period of time) I am finished with one round of cleaning, the dust settles down again, awaiting the second round of cleaning. Earlier I used to be out of the last ones to realise that things have gotten dirty and need to be cleaned. “Cleanliness is just the process of putting the mess of one place to another” ~ Nidhi Ralh.                           Such ...

Every person, be it a kid or an adult, has been subject to the dialogue “You are always busy with your phone/laptop, what do you keep doing on it?” Each generation must have written/studied the essay “Technology: A boon or A Bane?” While many of us have made it a tool for the ease of life, but unintentionally we are also letting it disturb the abilities of human mind.  Oops! The boring essay writer in me just came out. Sorry for the few boring words written above. Actually, I was finding a way to start “Tech-savvy me” (because I wanted to show off) but couldn’t find any better way. When my sibling had joined cooking classes, she learnt to make a new dish. Over excited that she was, on the way back home she bought a new appliance required for panning out that dish. Failure of successfully making out that dish let that device occupy space in our home for months. Once I decided to put it up for sale on OLX.  Mind you! I received a call for its purchase the ...

What did I promise in my last blog? That I’ll elaborate upon… Wait, let me check. About I  leaving this city and coming back to it. So, the story goes like: I got a job and had a fair idea that I’ll be posted in a city about 60 kilometers-or-so from my city. Having never been in out-of-home environment (hostels  etc ,) I was excited at the thought of it, at the thought of leaving your home and being upon yourself in a relatively less restricted environment with an opportunity to gain new experiences in a new city. (My people are not at all strict; it was just an excitement for no solid reason whatsoever.) Since it is just 60 KMs, going up and down is not that big a deal, only that you’ll take time to get habitual to the new routine. I did it for a few days (and when I say a few days , I mean it). I started looking out for PG rooms, making other local people helping me out in this situation. It was an instant decision, not even a fortnight had passed that I shifte...

“Why don’t you write a blog now?” said one of the few blog readers of mine. And what more coincidental can it be that she popped up this question on the very day of my 3 rd blog anniversary ? (It’s been three years; I’m surprised that it's been this long.)   And what a shame it is that I couldn’t manage to muster crowd to read my blog. Just Kidding! Somewhere in the backdrop of my head, even I had this slight guilt that I’m not justifying my bio (which states that I’m a blogger) and that I should get back to my job hobby.  Even my sibling posed a comment upon me that you don’t engage in creative activities anymore. I started making a sketch, portrait to be precise, within a span of a few days. Someone else too in my circle pointed that you’re a blogger, it pinched a little as he was not aware that I hadn’t posted a word in last months, that I wasn’t continuing my blog.  “Unofficially (i.e., in my brain I had quit blogging). Reasons? For I wasn’t getting ...

I think I’m the magnet of 'sleepy people', everywhere I go I only find people who love to sleep and never miss their afternoon naps. (Yeah, I gave this post an abrupt starting as if one has suddenly woken out of sleep after having a terrible dream.) It’s not like I don’t like sleeping (in fact even I love it) but the fact that you have to make considerable efforts to get out of sleep is what I find so difficult. I make sure that if I’m sleeping it’ll be for longer hours. I’m strictly against afternoon naps. For you can sleep for just a few hours. Gosh! It feels terrible to ditch your sleep and open your eyes unwillingly. Dating back to the days I was a kid, once I woke up after having my afternoon nap; the sun was setting by then. Mistaking the evening time as early morning hours, I almost cried complaining to mom as to why she didn’t wake me up earlier as I needed to do my homework. It was only after I got assurance from my dad that it’s still evening that I got a se...

A few days back, there was this video going viral of the PGI mortuary showing the supernatural presence. It wasn’t that scary as such but the timing that my sister showed it to me did the game. Everyone else was sleeping with all the lights off and I needed to go to the loo. Somehow I managed. The video doesn’t scare me at all now. First of all, a declaration that I believe that ghosts do exist and secondly I would (almost) die if I ever come across any of them. As a kid, whenever I heard here-and-there stories of ghosts I would come running down to my mom for the assurance that ghosts don’t exist and my mom would even say so to pacify me. I used to get scared so easily that I needed someone to be at my back to protect me from ghosts. And this is the reason that I didn’t see Raaz (the scariest Bollywood movie back then) and I haven’t seen a single episode of Aap Beeti (the scariest TV show of that time). When the three of us were seeing Conjuring, our screams we...

I planned to write this post at the last year’s end or this year’s beginning but some things needed to be done before I wrote this one. While the last post showed the darker side of my lifecycle, here’s the one which points out several systems  that prevails in this country called India.  ‘What has happened to her? From talking about here-and-there stuff, why has she moved to the darker side now?’  If this is what you are thinking, never mind I’ll switch back to my old silly self. It’s just that I’ve been holding on to this sort of stuff for too long and thought of finally penning them down. Sometimes, I wonder if it has got something to do with the education imparting system where the theoretical part is stressed more than the practical/result oriented part.  You may find a graduate of a field with almost zilch knowledge of the field level work. It makes me feel like the prevailing system is a mess, where the studies are harder as compared to forei...

Warning: This post is not meant for people who are under depression for it may not sprinkle all the stress busting words that need to be said to such pitiable souls. I always wished to not to get employed as soon as I graduated; for I believe one should have a little gap in between to enjoy the ‘free’ tag where neither you are bound to attend the classes nor you are worried if you’ll get the leave from your office for the day(s) that your family has been asking you to take for the past several days. I was told that it’s not as such ‘the golden period’ but I didn’t bother. And it did happen the same way as I wished it to be. Just that it wasn’t as free as I thought it to be. Just after my final year exams, I was standing face-to-face with the dreaded question - What next? And I was as clueless as ever. I was doing all that I should be doing to get over the ‘unemployed’ tag but the dark tunnel/phase seemed to have no end. I don’t know if I can term that feeling as ‘d...

"Only boring people get bored" ~ Ruth Burke   The first time I came across this quote, I trashed the very idea of it being true. Incidentally, those were the days when I used to complain often, “I’m getting bored” to which none would have any solution. (Phones were not such big sensation back then.) And because I would iterate it time and again that I would end up getting more bored; maybe the repetition of it worked as a constant reminder to the brain that you ought to feel bored. Days passed by, weeks passed by, months passed by. This quote remained in the back of my head and I started using it on others whenever they would tag me ‘boring’ or complain of getting bored themselves. They were literally bored pissed of hearing this quote for umpteen times. Like, they say you don’t get to know when you fall in love, the same happened to me. Over a span of time, I started getting connected with the same quote and now I actually believe in it. It might be the...

Coming from a girl who didn’t really face much harsher things but really felt it happening around; This post is not going to enlist the atrocities against women for enough has been and is being written about it already but it is a mere dedication to the gender I belong to. I’m not really a fan of this gender because …. well, I don’t know why. Probably because the other gender people deal with things in a better way - be it the humour, the stress/worries, or jealousy (or say the absence of it). But the vulnerable position of women made me write this. Once I was in a public space waiting for something. On seeing a women in a jersey of police passing by us, a women remarked, “Women don’t look good in this uniform, right?” awaiting my approval/nod. At first I didn’t really pay attention to what she said and nodded as you do when you’re listening to a stranger inattentively but as soon as I realised what she said I rejected her viewpoint and her reply was, “Oh, they look good! You...

I have been ignoring some topics for a (long) while now. So it’s high time to write them one by one. Disclaimer: The views expressed here are of the author only. Neither they are supposed to bind anyone nor are they meant to denigrate any opposing view point. Here, I’m talking about god and how I define its existence and this disclaimer is the result of what happens if you talk about god in this country. By the way, I didn’t need to give it as I belong to the category which won’t hurt religious values of anyone. Of course, I’m not going to present you some hard-to-counter evidence for there isn’t any, but it’s going to be about the little individual connection that you feel with THE ONE. I may not be at my logical best but then you can’t expect logic from me to convince you about the existence of someone who has created this whole world on which all those brilliant brains live. Starting with the system which prevails all around the world: At every place, every level,...

As I mentioned in the last post, over the time span of two and a half years (almost three years) of Aarush, I’ve gathered too many clues that now I’m carrying them forward to this post as well. ( Hidden Motive: I can bait him in future to read my blog to know more about his childhood) Overall, I can say he is a smart kid and I’m not saying this because he stands in a near relation to me. But because once when I met a kid, I asked him his age generally. He ran crashing down to his mother asking what his age was. It was only after his mother told him that he’s three-and-a-half-year-old that he could answer me.  But Aarush knows it from the time when he was about to turn two. (That is a different thing that now I find it difficult to teach him that he’s going to be three ; after making him repeat several times after me when I ask him again he says, “Two”) He already knows who’s stuff it is: the blankets, the combs, the clothes; and this is when, sometimes, even I get...