Taking Criticism

"I want actual feedback on my piece of work. I want people to criticise it so that I can improve it." A quote also goes:

Do not seek praise. Seek criticism. 

~ Paul Arden

I get surprised whenever I hear this sort of words coming. I mean how are people able to take criticism so sportingly? Or they are too fine an actor to conceal their emotions.

Because I get an instant feeling of 'How can you say this?' on listening to critical comments. 

Be it when someone tries to point out errors in my drawing, pointing out parts which could have been better; or for instance, a few months back, when I was told from multiple references that my blogposts had started to become boring and philosophical.

Side note: I got so pressured on getting that feedback that I ended up writing almost two posts trying to deflect from the 'Philosophical' label.

No matter how truthful I felt that was, but I quite didn't like it. I was aware of the categorical change in my content and even I, myself, was not-so-proud of it.

"But even though I found them so, my readers shouldn't," my kiddish conscience complained stubbornly.

It has happened earlier as well. It was during my first year of blogging when one person (or rather more than one person) had told me that the post that I had written last was not meeting the set expectations. 

I had re-read that post 3-4 times to see where it went wrong, but no substantial reason or solution came out.

Another time, this friend of mine commented that I always try to be nice to everyone. I almost hated that comment. And I genuinely feel I shouldn't take that comment seriously. As one can be genuinely nice and kind. (No, I'm not trying to praise myself.) 

But upon trying to reason his disturbing comment, I failed to understand what ideology it could have behind it. One can only try to be nice for a short period only, pretentions are not forever. I admit I believe that kindness can cost you your comfort at times and even though I don't feel like doing that thing, but still for the sake of kindness I do it, but does that count as 'trying to be nice'. I don't know. I might be overthinking.

Incidentally, this is another feedback that I often receive for my personality. That I overthink.

Side note 2: I feel not if until now, but after reading this post, most of you will consider upvoting the 'overthinking me' option.

Once, I underwent a somewhat scary medical test. Honestly, I had been dreading about it (thanks to a plethora of knowledge available on the internet at the click of the mouse) and I tried to avert it as long as I could. But I didn't feel any better medically. 

So, I mustered the courage to face it anyhow. It, indeed, was terrible, but I guess I'm good at controlling my fears (or hiding my fears) as the nursing staff praised me for cooperating very well. I'm not sure if they say it to everyone to make them at ease or I actually fared well.

I came out of the room and sat on the chair, imagining about the one of a kind feeling that I got during the test. A guy, who was sitting beside me, probably accompanied another patient who had gone in for the same test, said, "You know what is wrong with you?" And without waiting for my response he declared, "You overthink. Perhaps that is the reason that you're unwell." 

In my head I was like: Excuse me. You hardly know me. You're running to conclusions depending upon less than a minute observation. "Seriously? I am often told that I always keep smiling, or more closely, laughing."

Side note 3: Don't mark me as a patient of some disease in your mind book just because I've written two posts having my medicinal journals. 

Moving on, it is easier said than done. I mean sitting back and being a critic is convenient than actually practising it yourself.