Growing forgetfulness

What could it be that made me take up blogging back again?

Not some extrinsic motivation, but influx of considerable number of ideas on this topic.

It happened to me about a month ago. I was so overloaded with professional work during those days that I feel I've suffered some loss of memory and even time. These days I am so consumed in accomplishing multiple works in a short span of time that my focus is diverted. Not that I've started to forget people, or something, but I used to remember the minute details of tasks that I executed during the day, which is sort of absent now.

A few months back, there was a religious ceremony at my workplace. All of us reminded each other about it two days before. On D-day, I was clad in jeans-top - my usual attire - completely oblivious of the date. Then I spotted one of my colleagues, all decked up, wearing fancy suit and other cosmetics. Without any word spoken by her, I couldn't help, but utter, 'Oh it's that day'. I was lacking the usual dupatta covering for head.

Relax. I'm not creating hype over just a petty issue. This was only the foundation building part. Proceeding to the main occurence.

As I said I've lost track of time. I was told about the wedding date of someone and trust me when I say date. Like on the 24th. To ace it, I was like this 24th February, whereas I am talking about the conversation that I had in March. Goes without doubt, they didn't take a second to point out, "In which world are you living?"

Most surprisingly, this week we had an off day from work. I did not notice the red marking on the calendar. Even if I had, it would've skipped my mind. After a lot of convincing, I managed to postpone my visit to an unwanted place to that holiday. Upon confirmation of the date to one of the parties, I was told 'it's an off'. Helplessly, I had to reschedule. 

I am ashamed of admitting that I felt a bit of sorrow on knowing about 3 extra (gazetted) holidays in that month, apart from usual 2 days off on weekends. In my defence, I had piles of work not because of pendency, but purely because of volume of tasks, most of which were time bound having financial implications. All of it made me worrisome as the time at my disposal seemed belittled.

This event particularly hit me hard. I mean one of the driving factors of me choosing this job was that it had so many vacations. And the same vacations were causing me stress. 

'So foolish of her, work on holiday', you must be advising. But that goes against my principles. It just doesn't seem right. Whilst I've seen others fulfilling their official duties by regularly working on holidays, I was trying to avoid it and manage it all on weekdays only. No points for guessing that I could only strike the work from the list by dedicating off-time as well unfortunately. 

What bothers me is not work, for I derive joy in peacefully carrying out professional work. I could be sitting quietly by myself, without feeling any need for company at my workplace. But the undue pressure that is created even for not-so-necessary tasks is bothersome.

'Perhaps they don't have the intellect to differentiate between significant and insignificant works,' or 'They are not flexible in their approach and belong to rigid mindset' are some of the ways to pacify myself.

PS No matter how much I find peace in a song, when I set it as my ringtone, my heart sinks everytime I hear it ringing. Because of abundance. Within a few metres between my phone and me, my brain thinks of all possibilities of who could be calling, why could they be calling? 40-60 calls a day is what I'm talking about. Don't you dare to think that I work at a call centre.