Ultra-thin

All of the world is entangled in an unending cycle of gaining weight naturally and then trying to shed it, but none can feel odder than me. 

I mean when I was younger I didn't realise that I was way thin. I considered myself to be an average weighted girl. But I guess, media channels available today - to be specific - Videos, along with people around, have made me acknowledge that I'm so thin that it may be categorised as malnourished.

It so happens that whenever someone meets me after a long time, a comment is bound to come that I've become more skinny, even if my weight hasn't dropped a gram. In my growing up years, those comments were not as frequent as they are now. Perhaps because back then we were growing in length, but as grown-ups, we generally tend to gain weight horizontally.

As of now, living in this body for more than two decades, I've accepted my body type and know, for sure, that it is more inclined towards shedding kilos than gaining them. Some say we get heavy with gulping only water, I say I barely maintain my weight even by intaking dairy products.

I may sound frustrated but I'm not. 

Why not? Let me show you the positive aspects.

Once, there was a narrow space between the wall and people sitting on chairs. They were too busy with their work. I had to go, so I went. Just like that. After a few minutes, another one of them had to go. They realised there was little to no space for him to pass, hence had to move their chairs to make way. Only, then they wondered about my passage. 

Another time, an elevator was closing in. We were in a hurry. So, I squeezed my shoulders to get into it smoothly. See, space is never an issue. Upon being there in solitude, I realised that I don't know how to operate it. Thankfully, my companions came to my rescue and pressed the button from outside to help me out.

Similarly, whenever there is a large group of people, be it in a public vehicle or at a social gathering or the like, if we run out of seating capacity, I'm automatically expected to make room for another person in my seat. Like they do with kids. 'C'mon, you can sit in my lap' sort of thing. 

Just that, now I'm counted as a half person. Ain't it a bonus point that more people can be transported in with lesser resources?

One of the best viewpoints that I've ever heard about me eating lesser food (occassionally) is: She is the brand new model which consumes less fuel, but gives more mileage. 

Sheer speechlessness occurred when my tailor asked me to gain weight saying, "Your outfit matches the size of a kid." So, I decided to wear ready-made clothes. However, when I asked the shopkeeper for a better fitting size, he replied, "Mam, it's the smallest size for adults. Smaller sizes than this are available in the kids' section." So, I have a hard time finding an appropriate fit and likeable design at the same time. 

Wait. Weren't we looking at the positive aspects? Anyway. Let's make it wholistic then. 

Lately, I've started losing weight more often, be it due to vaccination, sickness (from mild fever to nausea), stress or workload. The first thing that gets affected is my stomach. Earlier my weight used to be comparatively stable (even if I lost it, it would come back to the earlier level within weeks). 

I used to even joke around that it is the only constant in my life for the last ten years. I guess it has taken offence and has started going downwards. When people hear this, they get surprised, "Oh! Was there any scope for further reduction?"

I have not gained even 10kgs in more than 10 years. Now I feel the only weight that I carry is the bare minimum required for any functional body.

Call it out of love or out of worry, that my family keeps on offering me food. They will offer me fruits, snacks and quick bites whenever they'd be munching on them. I'd be given advice (and sometimes order) to take my meals on time. I have started to feel that there is a defined quota for one family as a whole. I passed this comment in a light spirit that all other members of my family are blessed with my share of appetite too. Even my eight-year-old nephew is putting on weight and has a comparable diet (in fact more than me) that I'm sure he'll leave me behind in both the areas in a matter of a few years.