Choosing to avoid when you can hold on to fights

I’ve always wondered if being kind actually does good to you or does it take a toll on you when you’re being selfless?

But I guess people are wired in a particular way and they actually don't have many options. They'll end being that way, no matter how hard they try to behave otherwise.

So, it happened to me a few days back when I saw my phone flashing a call from the person who had been the cause of much mental agony for the past half-year. 

Unwillingly, I picked up the phone to see what it could be now that needs to be said (for I never got any call from them earlier, instead I got to know what they said about me from other sources). I asked about their well-about, letting out my voice as if nothing had happened. All of a sudden, they became more than sweet to me. It was our first one-to-one conversation since. That day onwards, I started getting calls from them almost daily, asking for help in work-related issues. 

Call it naïveté or what, but I gave them solutions to the best of my knowledge. I still wonder till date, had any other person been in my place, would they have done the same? I would like to believe the answer would be 'Yes'.

(I deliberately used the unisex word 'they' in the abovesaid episode to make things subtle.)

Similarly, I wanted to leave a place so badly but I was stuck. Despite asking them to let me go multiple times, I still had to be there. Even till the last moment, I was kept so busy that I didn't get to take a sigh of relief and meet people I held close to my heart, or complete the remaining formalities for that matter.

The people around felt bad for me. I was told that the ongoing discussion was if ever in future she's needed for some left out tasks, she would definitely not step forward to help. Their confidence was unmatchable when I was being told this. (Whereas, in my heart, I was double-minded -as always- if I would do as was being said or I'll move on by letting go of this moment.) Although, I do have some sort of despise towards it, but I believe I'm good at hiding such evil feelings and tide over them by keeping the good side of me in the foreground.

It's not that I'm saintly or anything close to it, but I think this is what life teaches you. You just can't keep holding on to your grudges; such things look good only at home, in fact not even at home. 

Take professional life, for instance, you had a tiff with a workmate. But then you are associated with each other and there is a flow of work, so you have to talk to them. No matter, how opposite you would've done had it not been for work. At least, this is one lesson that I've learnt from my work life. I've seen people enjoying together, days after they had a major fight. I used to get surprised at it and now I think soon I'll join this bandwagon. 

Eyes fixed on future.